self-examination Self-examination is vital to the evolutionary path of love. Only in an atmosphere of complete honesty can unconscious psychic impediments to
renew and fine-tune the senses. Sexual habits are particularly dulling to the senses, and it is here that self-examination is of great value. If one partner depends exclusively on the other for support and comfort rather than seeking these within, the result can be a burdensome imbalance in the relationship. Real love places no value on projection of selfish fantasies onto the other. This does not allow room for the play of ecstatic, spontaneous love, which is the goal of Tantra. Instead, a relationship becomes limiting; it may even drag both partners into an unresolvable conflict. Failures in both love and marriage often result when one partner does not live up to the expectations of the other. This suggests that there is no real partnership, but rather that one partner is being selfish with the other. In this situation a couple lives together in an inner state of separation and hypocrisy. In the Tao te Ching, a Chinese philosophical work of the sixth century B.C., there is a beautiful and clear statement about selfknowledge. The author, Lao-tzu, declares: "Knowing others leads to Wisdom; know- 14 Brahma the Creative ing the self leads to Enlightenment. Mastering others requires force; mastering the self calls for inner strength." Self-examination is both a touchstone and a support in life. It strengthens the mental attitude necessary for self-development. It is a very personal practice and should not be made a topic of general conversation, for doing so results in psychic dispersion and weakened self-confidence. Positive selfexamination deepens the capacity for intuitive experiences. It creates a state of enhanced receptivity. By seeing ourselves in a clear light, we can eliminate negativity and doubt, which tend to pollute our relationships. Authenticity within the couple fosters spontaneity, thus liberating the relationship from the conventional and predictable. Invoke an earnest desire to know your true self. Put aside self-doubt and fears. Self-examination is a prerequisite of any
